Bar Night
by This is getting old
Summary: The young men in town gather for a night of manliness and bad intentions. Contains swearing and mentions sex. Read at own risk.


**I do not own Harvest Moon. That courtesy belongs to the folks at Marvelous and Natsume.**

One night a week the young men of the Harmonica peninsula gathered together for drinks at the Brass Bar, usually to just chat, get away from their jobs, families and the influence of women (just for one night though, because the influence of women was pretty awesome at all other intervals. Just not this one.). It was distinct, young manly time (though many were rather unsure as to why Julius always showed up. It was distracting.)

These meetings didn't have a name or even a title other then 'Thursday Night. Be there.' as such things were rather girly and this was Manly Night, after all. And while on the subject, they 'chat'. Not 'Gossip' Really.

Moving on.

The night was rather late, but judging how the bar nights lasted until the last man passed out drunk, and only half their number were at present inebriated, the night was still young, in a manner of speaking. Gill, as the resident lightweight, was barley capable of speech, Julius most defiantly tipsy and as most 'mostly drunk' people, swearing between every other word, with an almost unconscious Luke hanging on to his every word.

Jin, surprising probably everyone since they had started the ritual, was perhaps the person with the strongest alcohol tolerance, along side Calvin ( a long history of drinking) and Owen (he's 6'3, It takes a while for him to feel any effects), sat slightly away from most, focusing his attention on Julius with no shortage of amusement.

Toby and Chase talked amongst themselves. It was rather hard to figure out if they were drunk or not, but gathering from Chases unusually flushed cheeks and Toby's (creepy) Cheshire smile, no one really wanted to understand.

In other words, it was a relatively quiet, calm bar night.

Owen ruined it.

"So, guys. You wanna know what interesting little gem Kathy told me last night?"

Julius, Gill, Toby and Chase reeled in their attention and instead cast it back onto Owen (Luke may or may not have already fallen asleep with his eyes open, as he was still staring what appeared to be Julius's throat.). Jin though, just looked unimpressed.

"Owen, if this is going to another spin off of into your two's version of foreplay, I decline a recount, I mean really-"Calvin laughed, Julius swore some more and then clapped Jin on the shoulder. Hard. Gill mumbled something, took a swig of his Coconut cocktail, missed entirely and stared at the new expensive smelling stain on his dark blue suit shirt. Owen wasn't fazed much.

"What? No. Kathy and I have been on a bit of dry spell ever since Roy's birth. She thinks she's too chunky for sex appeal and-"

Jin's left eye twitched. "Please, Owen. I think you should stop there."

Owen shrugged. "What ever. Anyway, what she told me was that she saw Molly in Sonata Tailoring the other day." Owen smiled, "She was wearing a wedding ring."

"What?"

"How?"

"_Who?"_

"mumble…"

Everyone looked to Julius, who looked just as surprised as the rest of them. "What? _I'm _not married to her."

Chase whispered under his breath, "No doubt about that…"

Toby lurched forward, knocking down his buckwheat cocktail and sticking his elbows into the dish of tortilla chips, "He means, Julius, that it is usually the _man_ that brings in the feather to the jewelry shop to get it made into the wedding ring. Meaning, the supposed groom would have come to _your _shop to forage the ring. Meaning…you should know who the 'lucky soon to be bachelor' is."

Calvin thought this was all well and interesting, but he had to admit that what he captured most of his attention was that Toby wasn't slurring, but in joined in on the conversation anyway, "So Jules, who is he?"

Julius just rolled his eyes and took a swig of his Cranberry cocktail. "It's no one. No one came to the shop, al'ite."

Jin frowned, "What?" "Shhhut up. I'm drunk, I can talk funny if I want-"

"No, not that. No ones come? Ever?"

Julius shook his head, highlights flying everywhere. "Last ring we made was yurs, and well, no one's been in for matri…meatri…blue feather rings since."

Toby made a disgusted sound and threw himself back into his chair, visibly sulking and muttering most likely terribly rude words to himself.

Calvin laughed. "What's got your panties in a twist? Aren't you tussling hay bales with lil' ol Mary Lou down at the farm?" "Her names Renee, you asshat, and this has got nothing to do with her."

Glare. Smirk.

Frown. Smile

A sliver of green eyes staring up at him. Nervous sweat.

A belch.

"Damn it Luke! That's fucking disgusting!"

A slap. A thud.

A snore.

"Sonofabitch" A the end of the table where Julius and Luke used to sit, the first unconscious patron of the night slept on the floor, and the fruity one who had put him there nursing a hand, and glaring red eyes at them daring him to repeat it.

"Ha!" said Gil.

Everyone else turned away as if nothing had happened, and went back to watching Calvin dig himself into a bigger hole.

"It's Paolo. He has a huge crush on her, since she first moved here and built that mechanism-thing-whatever it is that Phoebe designed for him. It played music. He's been over the moon for her since."

"It's called a Robinson Goldberg Contraption." "…what?" "Nothing. Its just puppy love Toby. He'll mope, maybe write some bad heartbroken poetry about it and then get over it." said Jin.

Toby replied by taking a swig of his cocktail.

Calvin frowned. "Isn't anyone else a bit rankled that they weren't invited to the wedding? Or even told about it?" he was looking forward to seeing the girl getting married. While they weren't exactly cut out for each other, they shared a passion for mythology and lore. She even still had an old, though worthless, lithograph he had given her as a token of friendship hanging on her wall. She was like the little sister he never had.

Contrary to him, Chase wasn't fazed. "She eloped. It happens all the time back in the city. Usually when couples are too cheap for a wedding and reception, or when someone wants to avoid scrutiny from their friends and family over their choice of spouse."

"…"

"Huh."

"Explains that."

"Sooooo" drawled Owen. "Any ideas on the lucky groom?"

Silence reigned.

"Bo?" "Dude, he's like, 14. That's kinda illegal."

"So? We let Gil date Luna, don't we?"

"Boys stop it." Jin pressed his fingers between his brows, trying to relieve a headache he knew would last until the stupidity ran out. "That's completely different…no matter how unsettling."

"Wha-what about 'arry?"

"Julius? You're still conscious?"

"'course! I aint' no pussy…" he tilted his head and looked at Gil, who had surprised no one and had fallen asleep sitting up. In drunken maliciousness he kicked his chair and despondently watched the man tumble to the floor.

Gil didn't wake up and complain, so no one got angry on his behalf and ignored it. "Perry?" Jin thought about it, but couldn't see it happening. "I thought priests couldn't get married?" "No, they can't. But Perry's a pastor, and well, there's nothing wrong with uh, spreading the seed, if you get what I mean."

"That was terrible, Owen." "Calling it like it is, Cal." "Really, even I was a bit disgusted with that."

Chase was actually the one make the call, surprising everyone.

"I think it's the fortune teller."

Everyone paused at that. Thought it over, mulled it around their heads a bit.

"No way."

"You gotta be shitting me-"

"Ewwww."

"Plausible."

"What?"

Chase shrugged. "Every morning, they come in around 7 and have a cup of coffee together. Sometimes they even have a little bit of desert. I've even scene them holding hands a few times as they leave. It wasn't a big deal, so I never said anything. But…if there is anyone, it would be him."

Jin nodded. "I've seen them together early in the morning before work a few times. It fits.

"Ugg." Owen uncharastically was the most perturbed. "I've known that guy my whole life. He's gotta be twice our age…"

"My grandmother says he's been around since she was a girl."

"…whoa. How old is this guy?"

Toby was perhaps a few steps behind them in the thought process, responding seriously with "He must age very well."

"Ha." Calvin smiled. Either he had cracked, or the drinks he had pounding the last few minutes of discussion where finally kicking in. "He must have a great moisturizing regimen. Jealous Jules?"

Their drunken friend sadly nodded, looking like he may have been pouting, and took a healthy swig (oxymoron, that) of his cocktail, and then had to catch himself from falling sideways.

"It's still weird."

"Owen?" "Yeah?" "Drop it."

"So…what are we going to do?"

"Do?" Jin frowned. "Do what? It's' none of our business who Molly is married to. Tell her congratulations, give her some healthy advice and a pat on the back and drop it."

Owen and even Calvin huffed a little. "We don't get to do the big brother scare? Like, 'hurt her, better watch your back, we know where you live, good luck' spiel? No honeymoon advice? No newlywed pranks?"

Chase almost looked as unimpressed as Jin felt, "Can you honestly see Molly letting us get away with that?"

"Hey! It took weeks to find all the garters and condoms you guys hid all over our house when me and Kathy hitched. Just yesterday I opened a crate of cocktail mix for Hayden and found each bottle individually rapped in old, dried latex, you assholes. I want in on the joke damn it!"

Chase laughed, "I remember that. Good luck finding the rest, I know it'll bring much joy in your life time as it did for me in a single night."

"I hate you."

"I'm in." Everyone looked at Jin. Surprised didn't even cover it.

"What? I know full well I'm getting married next, and that I'll be the butt of all the humor. Well, I want to at least have some satisfaction out of a joke well played before I'm the one with yoke on my face…Just don't tell Anissa. I'm supposed to be the mature one."

Toby and Chase exchanged looks, shrugged, and both started to chug their drinks.

Calvin looked a little thoughtful, "We should do something with rice. It's traditional, and innocent enough not to embarrass her."

"Waitwaitwait. Wait. Let me see if I can wake up Gil and Luke. We need full manpower."

Owen sighed and looked into his glass. "We're not nearly sloshed enough for this to work."

***AND THEN SOME DRUNKENESS HAPPENED***

Molly stared.

Stared some more.

Looked back behind her into her kitchen, and then back at her yard, almost surprised that it was still there.

Leading up beside the trail to her doorstep was rice. The land surrounding her coop and barn was pure white. Her fields and pastures were completely surrounded and coated in rice, looking as if over night; her home had become a winter wonderland.

"Oh god." She wandered out a bit, not really paying attention to the crunching beneath her feet as she gazed around."

"…Molly?" She looked behind her, and at her new husband standing in their doorway, looking around curiously, but not shell shocked as she. Above them he noticed something she had yet to see through her fog.

Streamers, balloons and even a large banner loudly proclaiming 'Just Married' and 'Congratulations decorated the outside of their house, making the it look like a little toy house on a birthday cake. "…isn't that nice…Molly? Someone….is happy…for us."

"Oh god."

"Hmm. I hope…there won't be… a problem…with…the birds." They both gazed out at fields, one in mute horror and the other in content.

"Have…some tea…dear. I will…attend to the…animals this morning."

"Oh god." The crunching of her husband's boots as he made his way towards the barn was enough to slowly pull her out of catatonia, and strait into a headache. "Oh god…" she said, and turned on her heel and walked back into her house, closing the door silently behind her.

Gale, in the barn, stared confusedly at the livestock. On the one side, various cows, goats, and their horse, Edmund, had been painted black. More specifically, they had been painted to look as if they were wearing what he recognized in modern human male formal wear. On the other, the animals were painted a simple white, but in their horns someone had gone through the trouble of tangling what looked like white tool around them.

"…"

***ELSEWHERE***

Yolanda and Colleen stared at their cupboards. Running an inn had various tasks and staples required. One of which was rice, a simple dish to go with any meal. All their rice was missing. All five fifty pound pages kept in their industrial kitchen.

"Have…Have we been robbed?"

***CHASES HOUSE***

"Oh god…why am I covered in paint?"

"Chase…shut up…sleeping…"

"I think I'm going to be sick…"

"Sonofabitch…"

"…Why is there rice in my hair?"

It was later found that the Inn, the Bar, Chase's house, the Mayors home, Julius home and workplace, the Carpenters, the Fish market, and the Blacksmiths had all been broken into and robbed of their rice sometime during the night. It all showed up on Molly's lawn.

In a moment of better judgment, none of the young men admitted to anything, but out of guilt, helped Molly and her new, quiet husband Gale painstakingly wash and groom their livestock until their natural coats glowed.

**A/N: hahahaha. That was fun. Took me forever to write, and at certain points puttered out. It's not the best, nor is it all that fluid, so sorry about that. Another problem as I wrote this is that I realized that I have never been drunk, nor have I ever scene a drunk person in real life, and had no idea how to write one. So I made Luke and Gil pass out, and Julius slur his words a little bit…ok, a lot. Just pretend he's steadily drinking as the story goes, and that's why his grammar goes down the pot so erratically. Anyway…yeah, it was fun. Will continue this, as inspiration strikes!...hopefully…uh…yeah.**


End file.
